06-30-2023, 01:14 AM
There are a variety of things wrong with Jude, and yes, one of them is his inability to answer this question. But he is not so unique in this regard. Many people don't know what they truly want. They are full to the brim with what they're supposed to want, what they've been told to want, and those are the answers they parrot on command. Jude was like that too -- knowing what he was supposed to want until he didn't, and now one nebulous want has been replaced by another barely more concrete.
What do you want? Jude thinks accusingly. If it's so easy to know? This apartment does not seem to be filled with want. Two noncommittal people, angry that they cannot lean on the strong internal definitions of the other. Near makes Jude feel like he's dissolving, melting into formlessness. He certainly felt like a more decisive person before he went to the mall today.
"I mean, if tomorrow would be better--" Oh, that's even better, a whole additional day to think about the question instead of a few hours. Then he perks up with a question he can answer. "Yes. They can't end the world without me." Jude plants his elbows on his knees and leans forward. "It takes both of us -- me and my sister." And some very expensive machinery that's been decades in the making.
If the world was ending, would Near rather be with Jude or no one?
What do you want? Jude thinks accusingly. If it's so easy to know? This apartment does not seem to be filled with want. Two noncommittal people, angry that they cannot lean on the strong internal definitions of the other. Near makes Jude feel like he's dissolving, melting into formlessness. He certainly felt like a more decisive person before he went to the mall today.
"I mean, if tomorrow would be better--" Oh, that's even better, a whole additional day to think about the question instead of a few hours. Then he perks up with a question he can answer. "Yes. They can't end the world without me." Jude plants his elbows on his knees and leans forward. "It takes both of us -- me and my sister." And some very expensive machinery that's been decades in the making.
If the world was ending, would Near rather be with Jude or no one?