01-27-2024, 07:21 PM
Jude does consider himself a sophisticate, but not in those self-aware words. Most everything Jude considers himself lumps into the wide bracket of 'different'. His cloistered upbringing -- homeschool, then boarding school, then private college, each of them heavily supervised and surveilled by the Family and their associates -- really only became obvious to him when he was exposed to the inverse: this unfettered freedom in the wider world. A sophisticate knows themselves by encountering their lessers; Jude only encountered himself when he fled the opaque, unmirrored petri-dish of his cult. He was normal to his Family. He was just Jude. Self-consciousness and Jude's resentment towards it have melded with Near's face, Near being one of the first people that Jude encountered on his journey. Ever-so-distinctly rejected by Near, Jude unconsciously attaches Near's face with a bevy of (unfair) cultural criticism.
Darting for the shoes would be undignified, just like throwing the lamp would be. Jude has already suffered the indignity of attempting violence and failing to bring it to fruition. He failed in transferring his feelings of rage and helplessness. Scuffling with Near over his shoes would worsen the situation, doing nothing at all to alleviate the warm flush of embarrassment settling over Jude's body. Nothing he does on purpose seems to have an effect on Near. Jude's influence is purely accidental and incidental -- he annoys Near when he doesn't mean to, and when he tries to be annoying on purpose, he ends pathetically funny.
Jude picks up the remote and turns the television on. (He was only asking permission to be polite.) He surveys the remote to see if it is a cable remote or if it is one of those Smart TVs, the kind that will let him select from a laundry list of streaming services. "Anything you can't stand to watch?" Once again, Jude is driven to being polite, even when he would prefer not to be. Or maybe it's a defense mechanism at this point: he's trying to head off Near's inevitable complaining at the gate. Maybe it won't save him -- has it saved Jude yet? -- but Jude licks his wounds by assuring himself he is trying. He is! It's not his fault Near is terrible. Jude just needs to find some movie where they can eat in silence.
Darting for the shoes would be undignified, just like throwing the lamp would be. Jude has already suffered the indignity of attempting violence and failing to bring it to fruition. He failed in transferring his feelings of rage and helplessness. Scuffling with Near over his shoes would worsen the situation, doing nothing at all to alleviate the warm flush of embarrassment settling over Jude's body. Nothing he does on purpose seems to have an effect on Near. Jude's influence is purely accidental and incidental -- he annoys Near when he doesn't mean to, and when he tries to be annoying on purpose, he ends pathetically funny.
Jude picks up the remote and turns the television on. (He was only asking permission to be polite.) He surveys the remote to see if it is a cable remote or if it is one of those Smart TVs, the kind that will let him select from a laundry list of streaming services. "Anything you can't stand to watch?" Once again, Jude is driven to being polite, even when he would prefer not to be. Or maybe it's a defense mechanism at this point: he's trying to head off Near's inevitable complaining at the gate. Maybe it won't save him -- has it saved Jude yet? -- but Jude licks his wounds by assuring himself he is trying. He is! It's not his fault Near is terrible. Jude just needs to find some movie where they can eat in silence.