11-25-2025, 05:33 AM
What do you want, Jude?
I want to save your world, is the sincere, plaintive answer on the tip of Jude's tongue, but he imagines Near laughing at him and he feels hit prickle painfully all over his body. Jude remains too self-serious to tolerate laughing well, having never not been taken seriously – until he set out on his own, and thenceforth gravitas slipped through his fingers like sand. Still he cannot backpedal into humor, nor soften his desires so much that they lose all weight.
For a few moments, his gaze bores into Near's chest. He works up the energy to meet Near's eyes, so that when he looks, he can hold that skeptical, critical, tired gaze, which seeks him out but does not seem to rest with fondness. Only frustration. Only this tangle of thorns.
"I feel like we've failed to understand each other," he says, voice soft. "Perhaps I failed to explain." He doesn't know what a secret room underneath one's house couldn't or wouldn't explain, but he's already spread on the first layer of superfluity, why not another?
"I can do things that other people can't, Near. And I thought it was only me and my sister. But..." He nods to Near with his chin. "You can too." His pause is heavy. "...did you know?"
I want to save your world, is the sincere, plaintive answer on the tip of Jude's tongue, but he imagines Near laughing at him and he feels hit prickle painfully all over his body. Jude remains too self-serious to tolerate laughing well, having never not been taken seriously – until he set out on his own, and thenceforth gravitas slipped through his fingers like sand. Still he cannot backpedal into humor, nor soften his desires so much that they lose all weight.
For a few moments, his gaze bores into Near's chest. He works up the energy to meet Near's eyes, so that when he looks, he can hold that skeptical, critical, tired gaze, which seeks him out but does not seem to rest with fondness. Only frustration. Only this tangle of thorns.
"I feel like we've failed to understand each other," he says, voice soft. "Perhaps I failed to explain." He doesn't know what a secret room underneath one's house couldn't or wouldn't explain, but he's already spread on the first layer of superfluity, why not another?
"I can do things that other people can't, Near. And I thought it was only me and my sister. But..." He nods to Near with his chin. "You can too." His pause is heavy. "...did you know?"